New Year's Eve

So I've learned an important lesson this morning, and it is one I'll take into the new year with me. I wanted to share since I think it is a good one.

On Wednesday the 28th I got a text from my friend David. David lives in New Jersey, and since we are both on the same coast now we've been talking about getting together. David has a 3-day weekend and asked if I wanted to hang out over New Year's. I found out Thursday that I have a 3 day weekend too. I replied that while I don't want to drive a rental car across state lines I could take a bus. He said I could take a train, and that New York City would probably have stuff going on the 31st. He also asked if Boston had anything going on that night.

At that point, I was kind of in a pickle. I really wanted to see my friend David, but the thought of New Year's in New York was a little terrifying. The thought of all of those people, the majority of them drunk, crammed into those scary crowd-barriers and barred from leaving until the middle of the night sounded awful. However, I also didn't feel comfortable asking him to come all the way up here, especially since I don't even know what's going on. Since I didn't have an answer I thought he would like, I did what I always do and procrastinated on giving him an answer. I think I was hoping my fear of the New York New Year's crowd would abate, but it didn't.

I finally decided last night that I shouldn't wait anymore and should at least respond to his text. I told him I didn't know what was going on in Boston and figure we would take it from there. It was a crappy answer that shouldn't have taken so much time to make. I went to bed early last night and woke up to a few text messages this morning. One of them was from David. He said that we could forget about the plan, he didn't feel like getting together any more. It had taken me 26 hours to get back to him and it made him feel like I was indifferent about seeing him. Even though it was just a text message, I felt instantly embarrassed and regretful. Someone had finally called me out on my wishy-washy BS when I have to say something I don't want to. My "wait and hope something changes" strategy really does hurt people and it's not something I can do anymore.

So the moral of this long (and probably boring) story is two-fold. First, I am proud of David for coming straight out and saying how my actions affected him. If I had been honest about my feelings from the get-go we could have made something constructive of the weekend. I have always wanted to be better about telling people how I feel and this is great motivation to do so. Second, this is definitely not the first time my lack of consideration has led to cancelled plans. There are many people in my life (Mitch, Jeff and my family etc. I'm looking at you) who have had to deal with long overdue replies to simple questions, last minute cancellations, and foot-dragging all because I'm too scared to give you an answer you may not like. I'm sorry if I ever hurt your feelings. Also, I am INCREDIBLY grateful for all of your patience and understanding. Even when I do stupid stuff like that, you still call me the next time, the next and the time after that. I'm so lucky to have you people in my life. If I did the whole "new year's resolution" thing, being better to all of you in that way would be one of the things I work on.

You are all really important to me and I know 2012 will be awesome with you guys in it. Thank you for everything, especially your friendship. Love to everyone, and have a fantastic 2012!

Ukulele! Yay!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSq1cez_flQ&feature=youtu.be

Lynne